Content to Be Me

A few weeks ago, my "therapist" told me that when he looks at me, he sees someone who is celebrated, and yet is not comfortable in her own skin. He also said something about "a sexual revolution" being in order... but I'll not touch on that now... because morality aside, "a sexual revolution" would be dangerous for someone not comfortable in her own skin. A sexual relationship (or any relationship, for that matter) can only be good if it's individual partners are comfortable enough to trust.

So I've been thinking about what it takes to be comfortable--something I haven't been for some time--and it seems to me that a lot of well-intended advise actually can drive a person away from a place of honesty where he or she can become comfortable enough to trust. We're told to pretend. The whole idea of couples counseling seems to be much more focused on an image than it is on healthy individuals.  

I've been talking with Charlie. (I know some of you would say I shouldn't do that.) But, it's been good. And you know what? (Now this has nothing to do with sex, so don't get your panties in a bunch!) With Charlie, I am content to be me, and that's a nice way to be. This whole platonic friendship thing may be challenging, given our history and our memories... but having a friend with whom I can feel so comfortable in my being (not just my skin... I'm still not there with anyone, really... but in my being is even deeper) ...that's worth facing off the challenge, I think.