It's times like this when you find out who your real friends are...

...and the findings can be a bit surprising. 

On top of all the legal stuff, I'm sick now.  And of all things, one of my "friends" who has tried to "help" me by attempting to suck me into his multi-level marketing cult, decided this is the appropriate time to blame me for being sick because I didn't buy his snake oil. How disgusting! 

Then after another sleepless night of coughing: a knock at the door, official papers for a lawsuit. Apparently I'm liable for my darling hubby's medical bills even though he took all the disability money and ran. Lovely. If I'm liable, shouldn't I have also had the right to refuse medical treatment? There should be some sort of medical Miranda rights thingy that they are required to read you at the ER. "You have the right to refuse treatment. Anything that will be billed to you later must be quoted to you in detail before administration..." Furthermore, if a hospital is treating a low income person on MediCal and they are dealing with vendors who do not accept MediCal, they should skip non-covered treatments unless the person "responsible" for the bill is given a quote and approves the expenditure.

I'm too sick to be profound, but I just had to vent. Snake Oil Dude thinks it's my fault that I'm sick--that's not such a big deal because he never was a close friend. There's another person who I thought I was close with who I learned simply cannot handle the drama of where I am right now. I can't move fast enough for her liking (and I'm sure if I did, others would find fault in that.) 

If I have to second guess everyone I consider sharing honestly with about where I am right now, I'd rather just go it alone. It hurts too much to have people heaping on blame when I already feel like a total failure. Throw in these uncontrollable coughing spasms to the mix, and I feel like just crawling under a porch, curling up, and dying. 

After being served the papers for this lawsuit this morning, I thought how my critical friends would likely blame me for that, too. I'm not on top of things like I should be. How could I let it come to this? Yes. I know it's my fault, so go pat yourselves on your smug little backs! I should have dealt with the creditors. Or maybe I should have driven off that overpass the day before my hubby's accident... if I had died then, he wouldn't have gone to work the next day and everything would have been dandy. Now I'm being irrational, right? Why don't you just blame me for that, too? After all, apparently, that's what friends are for.