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Woo hoo. the excitement.
No, it's not that kind of date. It's a court date.
The victim's advocate from the D.A.'s office thought I had a pretty good case for a restraining/kick-out order to put an end to Todd's squatting and get our kids back in their house... But when she called Todd to warn him about last week's court date, he didn't answer... and because of that, the judge didn't consider him adequately warned and temporarily denied the move-out portion of the restraining order. I had to have him served with papers for the restraining order and notice about another court date this coming week to determine if there will be a move-out order or not. That means staying with friends for at least another week.
So he will probably be in court this time. And he's going to have plenty of time to pick his lawyer relative's brain before then about how to look out for number one. I could be worried about it. Perhaps I am... but I'm also resigned to making the best of whatever the judge says. I'm not going into it as optimistically as I did with the last court date. He may very well rule against me, but that wouldn't be the end of the world. It may mean losing more financially, but it will only serve to fast-track the loss so I can move on to the recovery.
The jacuzzi felt great tonight. I hated using the credit card, but I guess it's pretty good to have made it almost a month away from home before resorting to using the plastic.
As Todd would say, "It's too hard asking people to stay with them." After a month, I finally decided to give myself a break from doing something night after night that Todd can't even begin to do. I did call one person who had earlier said we could stay with her... but she had other company, and besides that... she's re-thought her position and is now convinced that I'm doing the wrong thing. Oh well... there will be those who will not understand. It is not my job to make them understand.
When I got back to the room from the jacuzzi and took my wet swimsuit off, I decided to wait until my daughter calls and says she's here to get dressed. What a way to celebrate not having to make anyone understand!
Have to go, now... I'm going to enjoy every dollar's worth of this solitude, not being in someone else's house. The cool thing is... when I'm forced to file the divorce papers, Todd will have to pay for half of this hotel bill.
This is where I will wake up for my four week "weekiversary" of leaving Todd. In the morning, the day will be new. I will be new.
It's not about circumstances. That's for sure.
I'm sick. My throat is sore, nose is running like a river, eyes sting, body aches... I'm sleeping on an air mattress on a strange floor. I've been having trouble concentrating on my work. My husband is self-centered enough to stand willingly by and allow his wife and children to be homeless even when he could do something about it. I have no idea where we'll be staying 48 hours from now.
But life hasn't been this good in a very long time.
Why?
Because I'm being honest. And honesty feels so good.
I have hope.
Should I, or should I not "threaten" legal action before taking legal action?
I'm planning on filing a restraining/kick-out order if Todd doesn't get his butt in gear and find a place to so his kids can return to their home...
- Should I be specific in advance?
- Should I let him know that if it's "too hard"for him to live somewhere else so the kids can be in the house, his inaction will actually force me to file for divorce sooner rather than later?
- Or is it better not to alert him to the action I plan on taking and give him the chance to be premeditatively nasty?
All you silent lurkers, please speak up this time. And give me the "why" behind your answer. There is wisdom to be gleaned from a multitude of counselors.
